Why I’m Not the Bookkeeper You Expected (And Why That’s a Good Thing)

I don't just balance books. I balance lives. Here is the story behind Remote Returns.

Go ahead. Google "bookkeeper."

You’ll probably find a stock photo of a guy in a suit, staring at a spreadsheet, looking very serious about a calculator. He looks like he loves rules. He looks like he’s never made a mistake in his life. He looks... rigid.

Let’s get this out of the way right now: That is not me.

I definitely don’t fit the mold. I don’t love corporate jargon, I hate unrealistic KPIs that treat humans like robots, and I have zero interest in being one of those "finance bros" on Twitter who treats your business like a cold, hard math problem.

I don’t love numbers just for the sake of numbers. I love numbers for what they represent.

To me, a clean set of books isn’t just about tax compliance. It’s about the single mom who can finally sleep at night because she knows she can make payroll. It’s about the therapist who can focus on holding space for her clients because she isn’t terrified of the IRS. It’s about freedom.

And the reason I value freedom so much? It’s because I know exactly what it feels like to lose it.

Finding Safety in the Systems

I didn’t learn about resilience in a business school classroom. I learned it by surviving days I didn't think I'd see the end of.

There was a time in my life when I wasn’t looking at balance sheets—I was barely looking at myself in the mirror. I know the crushing weight of shame. I know the feeling of being "left behind" while everyone else seems to be moving forward, buying houses, and building careers.

I know the anxiety of being stuck in a cycle—addiction, chaos, fear—and feeling like there is no exit door. I know what it’s like to have zero control over your own narrative.

And this is exactly where the bookkeeping comes in.

People often ask me how I went from that life to this one. Why do I love something as structured as accounting?

It’s because when your life has been defined by chaos, clarity is a form of healing. When you have lived in the unknown, a reconciled bank account feels like solid ground.

I realized that bookkeeping wasn't just about "tracking expenses." It was about taking a messy, scary situation and organizing it until it wasn't scary anymore. It was about proving to myself, line item by line item, that I was capable of building a future.

Shame is a Terrible Fuel

This is why I approach your business differently than the "Old Guard" of accounting.

Traditional finance culture is often built on intimidation. It’s built on making you feel small so they can feel smart. It operates on the assumption that if your books are messy, you are messy.

Remote Returns is built on the opposite truth: Your worth is not your net worth.

I look at business owners—the creatives, the healers, the rebels—and I don’t see "revenue sources." I see people who are brave enough to build something from nothing. Truthfully? I look up to you. You are out there killing it, being bold, and taking risks.

So, when a new client comes to me with a shoebox of receipts, a negative bank balance, or a tax notice they’ve been too scared to open, I don’t judge them. I usually laugh. (And I try to make them laugh, too).

Because trust me: You cannot shock me. You cannot disappoint me. And you certainly cannot scare me.

I have been to the bottom, and I have built my way back up. If you think your messy QuickBooks file is going to make me think less of you, you’re wrong. I just see a puzzle we can solve together.

We don't fix finances by hating ourselves. We fix them by forgiving ourselves. Shame is a terrible fuel for growth. Compassion is the only fuel that works.

My Difference is My Disruption

As a gay man in a conservative industry, and as a survivor in a world that celebrates "perfect" resumes, I have always walked my own path. My difference is my disruption.

I am not here to just file your taxes and disappear. I am here to be a Cycle Breaker.

I broke the cycles of addiction and poverty in my own life. Now, I help my clients break the cycles of financial anxiety and feast-or-famine income in theirs.

My job isn’t to be your boss. My job is to be the partner who says, "Hey, look at this win you missed because you were too busy stressing." My job is to look at your scary numbers and translate them into a plan that makes your shoulders drop three inches.

I want you to leave our calls feeling proud. Not just relieved, but proud of the fact that you are doing the hard work of building a life.

The Invitation

I’m not here to be a guru. I’m here to be a guide. I’m here to hold space for your business so you can get back to your zone of genius.

So, if you’re looking for a stuffy accountant to just maximize your ROI at the cost of your sanity? I’m definitely not your guy.

But if you’re looking for a partner who has walked through the fire, knows how to build a safety net, and will never, ever judge you for where you’re starting from?

Hi. I’m Laurent. Welcome to Remote Returns.

“Your worth is not your net-worth”